This is probably going to be a roundabout post, and I don't know how long it will be. If it's too long, maybe I can break it up so I don't go over a month between postings anymore. Not that it matters much to the 2 maybe 3 of you out there, since I suspect you read it through a reader so posts just appear anyway. But I digress, since this has nothing to do with anything I was planning on saying.
I listen to a variety of podcasts and two of my favorites are Stitch It! and CogKNITive. I like many things about both of them, but they have one feature in common that I wanted to focus on today. Meghan from Stitch It! calls hers "One of my favorite things" and Dr. Gemma from CogKNITive calls hers "Something I really like." I have always found the cognitive psychology concept of self-talk interesting-- basically that your inner monologue can affect your moods, although that is way oversimplifying it. (Or, as Dr. Gemma puts it, you are "brainwashing" yourself with your self-talk, so you might as well make sure your self-talk is positive.) The reason I like that feature on both of their podcasts is that it is a conscious effort to look for positive things around you that might otherwise be taken for granted and not appreciated. Most of their favorite things are not earth-shattering, but simple things that are a good part of life. For example, Meghan's latest is BBC's The Office (I applaud you, Meghan!) and one of Dr. Gemma's is her iTunes reviews.
I have blathered about that my life is very busy and stressful right now, and it is very easy to focus on that. And I have noticed my self-talk doing that: "I am so tired. I don't want to walk this dog. Look at that counter-- it's a mess. When is that going to get cleaned up? And who left their apple core on the counter? How hard is it to take two steps and throw it away?" I think talking about your problems, both looking for solutions and just venting, has its place, but I also think that I am indulging in too much of it lately. I need to make a conscious effort to look for the positive things that are in my life that I overlook to complain about other things.
So, without a catchy name, one of my favorite things that I really like is Starbuck's white soy mocha. I buy one every Tuesday on my way from work to my 4:30-9:00 class so I don't fall asleep somewhere I shouldn't-- like driving on the highway. I should add that I do NOT like coffee. However, this drink tastes heavenly. I suspect the mocha and the vanilla-flavored soy. Whatever the reason, every time I drink this I pause after every sip to say something like, "Wow. I love this stuff," or "This is so awesome." I wonder if they add another addicting substance, besides the caffeine, because I keep thinking about it and waiting until I get another. Fantastic.
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4 comments:
Yes, I read on a Reader, but then I need to come in to comment. I had not heard the terms "self-talk" and "self-brainwashing" I rather like them.
little heavenly things are, indeed wonderful. Find some more to treat yourself with! One of mine is really simple. There are several ways I could drive into work. One of those ways is through the wooded park that I live on. I almost always drive through the park. Even in barren March it has some pleasure in it and most of the year it is gorgeous. It makes my sould hum in pleasure.
Self brain-washing... I need to try that. I will clean my kitchen, I WILL clean my kitchen....
I hadn't heard the terms either.
I think I tend to do all my self-talk "out loud" in email or board form. Is it different when self-talk becomes other-people-talk? I like to think that it gives you more perspective and self-awareness.
I actually went through cognitive behavioural therapy a few months back, and found the whole process completely fascinating. My psychologist didn't so much focus on positive self-talk (as, honestly, I find it to be totally ineffective), but rather how to step aside from the constant stream of negatives without consistently getting dragged into the emotions of that whole cycle.
It's good stuff, and definitely an interesting subject to study.
I think that other-talk is different; self-talk is more like the running commentary inside your head all day. Writing down aspects of your self-talk *can* give you perspective, I think. But when it's just in your head it doesn't necessarily give you self-awareness or perspective; I don't think most people think about it at all.
Which kind of relates to what I wanted to say on jes's point-- I don't know, either, if having a forced positive self-talk mantra would be helpful to me either. (If that's at all what you meant.) I think I find it helpful in paying attention to how many negative comments I make to myself. Which was more than I would have expected, once I started paying attention.
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