Focus

This is very much not what I came here expecting to write, but that's where the title comes in. Curly Girl's appointment tomorrow where our doctor will start her on a behavior med trial seems to be all I can focus on. I don't know what to expect. I know what I hope for, but I think that my hopes are unrealistic. I am concerned about side effects, about how long before we see a difference, and about how well it will work.

I used to work at a school for emotionally disturbed kids. Most of the kids had serious diagnoses like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, but there were some with the milder diagnosis of ADHD. We would line the students up at 2:45 to send them to the nurse for their afternoon meds before the residential staff came to pick them up at 3:00. There was this one boy in particular that I had in my last period class who clearly needed his meds. I could often tell by 2:30 that his meds were wearing off and those would be a very trying 15 minutes waiting for the med announcement. By 3:00, he was no longer bouncing off the walls and talking a mile a minute. So, basically, I am trying to say that I know that the right dose of the right med can make a huge difference-- which makes me realistically hopeful. It's my desperation that makes my hope unrealistic.

I am afraid that by now, a lot of CG's behaviors are habits. Swinging out arms or legs at a person when she is angry with them, or calling them names, or telling them that she hates them-- will she really stop doing those things just because she's on meds? Or will she "just" be better able to understand why she shouldn't do those things and start doing them less often? Since she hasn't done well at learning alternative behaviors, how long will it take her to know what to do instead?